Preface: The Insanity Begins

Many years ago I had a revelation that, had I been more aware of the world at the time, might well have caused a nervous break down.  I realized that the world is seriously messed up.  I was getting a tooth pick for some reason, at a restaurant I believe, and I noticed that it came in its own plastic wrapping, and had instructions.  Forget the individual wrapping for now.  Those were simpler times, when wasting petroleum to make clear wrappers for a splinter of wood was a demonstration of our technological innovation.  A time before we had noticed the city sized piles of refuse and the smog from the toothpick wrapper factories.  A time of innocence.

Lets us look instead at the instructions.  Printed in white lettering on the clear plastic.  Printed so small as to almost warrant the use of a magnifying glass simply to decipher them.  "Grasp near middle.  Moisten in mouth.  Use to dislodge particles from between teeth."  The image of the tiny package is burned into my mind.

Someone, somewhere in the world, honestly felt the average member of the tooth pick using public would not be capable of grasping the intricacies of the technology that is a sliver of wood, and thus came to the conclusion that they must impart the wisdom of "the method" of toothpick use to us, the plebeians.

The unbelievable waste of time, energy, effort, and man power boggles the mind.  But at that time I thought that the real sin, the real error in their ways was just how much this nameless company devalued the intellectual capacity of the average person.  To actually think that we, the typical humans of this planet, need instruction for such a task!  Unbelievable!

I now know that if anything, they gave us too much credit.

This blog is a journal, a record.  A personal accounting of the mind bogglingly stupid things that happen every day, from my own perspective.  Harlan Ellison once wrote a passage I only vaguely recall, about giving an accounting of life.  Of saying, in effect, "this is where I am today, and this is what the world looks like from where I stand."  I only vaguely recall it, yet the spirit of that passage has always stuck with me.  There is something of inestimable value in the observations of someone who is truly laying out the land, as it were.  Like a fine map maker, drawing the curves of the rivers, the directions of the paths, the edges of the mountains.  Given the notes of a skilled observer, those who have never been can find their way in a strange land, and those who already know the land can find new and interesting things in the different perspective thus afforded.  I am a cartographer of sorts.  A cartographer of life.  I observe the lay of the land, and record as best I am able in words and tales.  It is something I have always done.  Something I am driven to do.  Philosophers, comedians, tale tellers and writers of all stripes have always done this.  It is not a skill, or a talent, but an outlet.  For those who observe life must vent that purified essence of the spirit of life from time to time.  They must have an outlet, if only to avoid madness...

This blog is therefore my vent.  My pressure relief.  The valve that allows me to say "this is where I am today, and this is the way the world looks from here, and these are the unbelievably stupid things I see you all doing.  In the name of Ba'al what are you all thinking?  I swear by all that is holy when I see you people act like this it could drive a man to drink...."