I just want to get from point A to point B

I have been looking for a car of late.  It has come to my attention that the jalopy that I currently use to haul my kids and their various friends and others to and from our daily routine is simply not properly up to the task. It falls short in various ways.  Lets us count them.

First of all, it isn't us.  At all.  It just isn't a good fit.  We have dual recycling cans because we make a conscious effort to use things that we can recycle.  We installed florescent lights all over the house to save energy.  We have a glass recycling program.  We have started changing the yard in order to conserve water.  My wife's car is a hybrid.

...and I drive a giant gas guzzling SUV.

It just doesn't fit.

How did I end up with such a car you ask?  Well a few years ago I had a little car accident.  I discovered that a bad place to drive a car is in any given intersection right before someone in an SUV runs the light going the other way while speeding.  If you haven't tried this yet, I recommend crossing it off of your "things to do" list.  It doesn't end as well as you might hope.  So, shortly after said accident, I was sitting in a wheel chair buzzed out of my mind on morphine while my wife called her father, who happens to be a car dealer.  The little of their conversation that got through the drugs and into my head went something like this: "Is it big?  Did it get a five star crash rating?  Is it made out of all steel?  Does it weigh over 7 tons?  If you are driving it and get into a head on with a semi will you be the only thing to walk away?  Ok, I will take it!"

To be honest, considering the place she was in at the time and her reasons for choosing what she did, I am lucky I didn't end up driving an M1 tank.

So a couple of months latter, when I got out of the wheel chair, I got into a Ford Gigantosaurous POS (TM) and headed out to pick up the kids.  That is another important fact in the story come to think of it.  Fully 75% of the time I am driving, I am driving kids.  The accident happened in the other 25%.  I think we can all see how my wife might have over reacted.

So now, the recycling, semi-vegitarian, conservationist minded stay at home dad gets about 3 feet to gallon when he heads out around town.  It does not make me happy.

That is just the first reason.

It is also a pain in the butt.  Literally.

When I had said car accident, it crushed my hip.  Stepping up into the American made Gigantosaurous makes me sore.  Plus, I hate sitting that high.  And, while I appreciate the "safe inside a tank" aspect of the vehicle, the "I got run over by a tank like this" aspect is less than appealing.  These are the little things that bother me.

But there are issues in choosing a new car as well.  I live in Utah.  Our license plate says "Greatest Snow on Earth."  Said snow is hard to drive in.  My location in Utah is on a long slope in the foothills.  For those of you blessed with spending all of your driving time in places both flat and dry, going up a long, steep hill, while said hill is covered in snow, which is in turn on top of a layer of ice, in turn atop still more snow, is not fun driving.  It is instead rather like the old spyhunter video game where the car spits oil out of the back and all the pursuing video game villains spin out wildly and crash into nearby buildings.  In short, All Wheel Drive is not so much a convenience as it is something you need if you don't hibernate through the winter.

I also need room.  I am a dad.  Really a dad.  As I said, 75% of my driving is with kids.  I take them to piano, gymnastics, school, flute, birthday parties, the library, the store, play dates, and the occasional international peace delegation.  I am the primary chauffeur (as well as chef, laundry service, tutor, and snow removal company) and thus must be able to accommodate at least 2-5 children, their backpacks, musical instruments, lunch boxes, pets, iPods, packages, science fair projects, and enough clothing and supplies to make the trip.  I am not kidding.  If you don't have kids, you simply don't appreciate that just going 45 minutes north to grandmas sometimes takes more planning than Lewis and Clarks journey.

These then are the requirements: my potential car must get up a snowy hill in a Utah winter, must hold my kids and the necessary supplies, and must get gas milage.  Not gas footage, not gas yardage, milage.  I don't think that 30 MPG is that unreasonable.  I am not asking for a flying car.  I am not asking for a Star Trek transporter.  I want a car that is barely a few minor advances over the kind of car my own parents could have owned when I was born.  We got the Apollo rockets back from the moon on one tank, I should be able to get to Sarah's birthday party for less than $65 in gas and without melting Greenland.  Is that too much to ask?